making my way downtown

[un_beau_coquin]

[The big issue here isn't getting fired. No, Spy will be fine for now, considering all that he's saved. Losing a resource as powerful as RED and Mann Co in general is a blow indeed, but Spy can get by. Right now, he's more concerned about living and making sure none of his loose ends catch up to him.

Most of the things he's taking back with him are either essential or expensive. The weapon magazines and catalogues sent by RED are still sitting in his old quarters, along with some leisure books and even some pieces of his old uniform. The suit has always been a part of his look, so he keeps some of it; they make for some decent padding for the wine stored in the trunk of his car.

With his tie slung around his neck and his jacket over his arm, Spy makes a mental checklist of all he needs. His life is pretty much stowed away in his wallet: bank cards, multiple IDs, cash, miniature cloaking device, plane tickets... He pats his pants pocket for the only thing that doesn't fit in his wallet: his passport. Not that he'll need it for the flight, but it's good to have these things just in case.

A tiny part of his brain nags at him, urging him to feel sentimental about leaving his workplace of over four years. But to hell with that - god knows this won't be the last he's seen of them.

When Scout hobbles up to his car, a mess of stupidity and arm casts, Spy is tempted to slam the door in his face and make him eat his dust trail. But, of course, the little mongrel has to pull the mother card and all of a sudden Spy feels responsible.]

I have a jet leaving in fifty minutes. You've got twenty. Get in the car.

Comments

[un_beau_coquin]

You say t'at is if you don't annoy t'e shit out of me every day. [A really unimpressed look. This is a new level of childishness, Scout.] I could also just sleep on t'e table if you get t'at bad.

[bonking]

[ He tilts a brow. Okay, Spy.

Scout rolls over onto his back, folds his hands over his stomach, and begins to serenade Spy at the top of his lungs. ]

GAAAHHHHD BLESS AMERICAAAAAA~

LAAAAAAND DAT I LOOVVVEEEEEE~

[un_beau_coquin]

[Oh, is that the best you can do? Spy takes a few startled steps back, his first instinct to cover his ears. While he does have sensitive ears, Spy is patient; his career revolves around the waiting game, and he knows that Scout's all about instant gratification.

Quirking a brow, he walks over to the other side of the room and sits in the corner, his back to his teammate.]

[bonking]

[ Spy underestimates Scout's power and drive to be a hellion. He'll get his kicks watching any little fracture occur in Spy's composure. Spy's about to go through several patriotic songs for an hour before Scout resorts to 99 Bottles. He ranges from laying there and belting it out to marching around the room. The inmates down their hall will be mixed screaming threats and singing along. ]

[un_beau_coquin]

[Has Scout forgotten that Spy is a puzzle, wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in riddles, lovingly sprinkled with intrigue, express mailed to Mystery, Alaska? He's endured worse. It doesn't help that he's accustomed to Scout's presence; the pitch of his voice, his tone and its ranges, they all ring familiar to Spy, no matter which way Scout decides to churn it out of his body. If this is a game, of patience and childishness and stubbornness, Spy will win, dammit.

His mind flips into safety mode, his shoulders deflating. While he's still conscious, he's not exactly awake, either.]

[bonking]

[ And Scout begins to implement a flick to the back of Spy's head every time he passes his cellmate. ]

IT'S NOT UNUSUAL TO BE LOVED BY ANYONEEEEE~

i was pretty tempted to have spy sing along

[un_beau_coquin]

[Okay, the flicking activates Spy's senses. He's not used to Scout's body yet, not the physicality-- the sounds of it, the sight of it, maybe even the smell of it, sure, but for all the threats they throw at each other, they haven't brawled enough for Spy to sort Scout's touch into friendly automatically.

About the fifth time Scout comes around, Spy jumps up swinging a fist. It's clenched as if he's holding a knife and his eyes aren't one hundred percent in focus.]

ffff lmao

[bonking]

[ If Spy had waited a couple more rounds, Scout would have been off-guard enough to not jump when he saw Spy jerk. He knew Spy enough to know the man was a sneaky bastard and would bide his time past at least a couple tries. As it stands, when the punch swings at him, Scout jumps back out of reach, onto the small table. He swoops down enough to grab the ashtray there. ]

IT'S NOT UNUSUAL TO HAVE FUN WIT ANYONEEEEE~~~

[ He picks up butts and begins pinging them off Spy's face, aiming for between his eyes and that big nose. ]

BUT WHEN I SEE YOU HANGIN ABOUT WIT ANYONEEEEE~

IT'S NOT UNUSUAL TA SEE ME CRYYYYYY~~

NOT JUST TEMPTED ANY MORE

[un_beau_coquin]

[As Spy's body swings with his fist, his brain flickers back to life, treating him to a full-fledged Scout concert, complete with props. The first few butts tap his forehead before he starts to swat at the projectiles.

Scout's voice is nasally and wrought with an awful accent. But you know whose voice is also plagued by those wonderful attributes?

This guy. Throwing on a huge, shit-eating grin, Spy belts it out, throwing off his natural French accent (as singing tends to do, when you're actually trying).]

OHH I WANNA DIE!

IT'S NOT UNUSUAL TO GO OUT AT ANY TIME!

BUT WHEN I SEE YOU OUT AND ABOUT IT'S SUCH A CRIME!

these idiots

[bonking]

[ You know, he should be dismayed, but he's actually kind of triumphant he's managed to drag Spy down to his level. ]

IF YOU SHOULD EVER WANNA BE LOVED BY ANYONNNEE

IT'S NOT UNUSUAL! IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY!

[ He flicks the ashtray like a frisbee at Spy's head and begins to dance, pointing finger-guns at Spy. ]

NO MATTER WHAT YA SAY!

[un_beau_coquin]

[What would be perfect is that little dance with the swinging arms and the snaps, but Spy hasn't sunk that low yet. He catches the ashtray out of the air and sets it back on the table, spinning on his heel as he approaches Scout. Time to bust some swing moves.]

YOU FIND IT 'APPENS ALL THE TIIIME!

LOVE WILL NEVER DO! WHAT YOU WANT IT TO!

[Extends a hand to his teammate, his eyebrow lifted in a challenge.]

[bonking]

[ He almost laughs, grinning from ear to ear. He reaches a hand down and pulls Spy up onto the small stage with him, twirling around in front of him and grabbing hold of Spy's forearm to balance by as he leans back and dances on the edge of the table. ]

WHY CAN'T DIS CRAZY LOVE BE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEEEE!

[ Jazz hand jazz hand jazz hand. ]

[un_beau_coquin]

[Spy whistles the little musical break, supporting Scout's weight. Using his teammate as an anchor, he swings his legs out to the sides and throws his free arm back behind him.]

IT'S NOT UNUSUAL TO BE MAD WITH ANYONE!

[Loosens his grip a bit to drop Scout forward a few inches at that one, his grin shifting to wry for an instant.]

IT'S NOT UNUSUAL TO BE SAD WITH ANYONE!

[bonking]

[ Scout flails a tiny bit but throws himself forward enough to keep from falling off the table. He makes to loop arms with Spy and take them around like a hoe-down dance. ]

BUT IF I EVER FIND THAT YOU'VE CHANGED AT ANY TIMMEEE~

IT'S NOT UNUSUAL

[ He twirls around, seizes Spy's hips, and attempts to lift and twirl him like a princess. ]

TO FIND DAT I'M IN LOVE WID YOU OHHHHH!

[un_beau_coquin]

[While Spy cooperates with his teammate enough to participate in the little hoe-down thing, he's taken off guard by the lift. All of Spy's weight is in his upper body, so he tips a little at first, but with some shifting, he finds balance in Scout's grip. Let's hope he doesn't collapse.

He's too winded by the lift to belt out the final whoa-oh, so he settles for some breathy chuckles.]

Now if only you could sing such a tune to me every day. T'en I doubt t'is team spirit ordeal would be such an issue.

[bonking]

[ Scout is panting, though it's with some satisfaction, when he sets Spy back on the table in front of him. He pokes the man's chest, looking up at him. ]

Bruddah, you can't be enjoyin' Tom Jones and then refuse to go rescue 'im from dese bozos.

[un_beau_coquin]

[Spy gives a disbelieving laugh. As his chest calms down, he smooths down his balaclava and returns Scout's look.]

Fine, fine, you've convinced me. I will take a look t'e next time we go for showers. 'Owever, since it is downstairs, I will need anot'er distraction; do not disappoint me.

And-- [Here he pauses, leaning in slightly for effect.] --I don't t'ink it would be terribly unusual to find t'at you're in love wit' me.

[bonking]

[ Scout begins to lean right back up into Spy's space before he remembers Spy is the king of gay chicken here and steps back, off the table instead. ]

Dream on.

[ Curious, maybe, but not in love. Not that he'd even admit that much. ]

I'll get you yer distraction, but we better figure out what we're doin' quick, cuz they're gonna catch on eventually.

[un_beau_coquin]

I'm sure if I did dream of you, you would be 'earing about it all night.

[He lets Scout step down first, dusting his shoulders and chest. A stray cigarette butt flies into the distance.

Once he gets his feet back on solid ground, he sits on the edge of the bottom bunk.]

Oui, je sais. I would skip t'is step if I could, but your little serenade 'as gotten me feeling gracious. But a trip by t'e main security room should provide t'e last bit of intel we need to secure a more successful escape.

[bonking]

Gross.

[ Scout assures him. Since Spy is sitting on his bed, Scout hops up to Spy's bed. Unlike Spy, Scout rolls around a little on it. ]

See, it's pretty much on your way anyway. We gotta think of some way to get through without mace to the face this time.

[un_beau_coquin]

[Enjoy the smell of cigarettes, Scout. Though since Spy is just constantly covered in the odor of smoke, Scout should be used to it by now.]

A more discreet mode of action would be preferable. I suppose we should avoid killing t'e guards as much as possible. T'ough a weapon would also be useful...

[They've been serving them food on paper plates since the last incident, along with an extra helping of drugs.]

If we could trick t'em all to gat'er at t'e same place at once, it would be easier to sneak past. If I 'ad paper and time, I could try to lure t'em all to one spot wit' t'e promise of-- food, per'aps. Beer. Typical American fare. But, as usual, t'e biggest problem is leaving t'is room.

[bonking]

[ Maybe he's rolling some clean smell on it, jeez. It's about the principle of the thing. ]

Whattabout a bomb? If we can get ahold of some cleaning products we can make mustard gas or a bleach bomb.

[ Scout, you're going to get everyone killed. ]

[un_beau_coquin]

And use it where? On t'e guards? On t'e door? T'e entire building?

[For about a second, he ponders about what it is his teammate is doing up there. But no matter. He waves the thought away like smoke circling his head.]

I'm afraid t'e science of explosives is not one of my many skills. Unless you can name t'e right ingredients necessary for such a weapon.

[bonking]

[ Just laying there, although he rolls over to peer down at Spy. ]

Well I ain't no demo, but we used to mess around all da time wid dat kinda stuff when I was a kid.

[ Which he pretty much still was. ]

All you need for da bleach bomb's bleach 'n foil, 'cept I dunno where we get the foil from. Hell, you got matches, we could just light it and throw it. I mean, dat's a great distraction.

You ain't never made anything like that when you was young?

[un_beau_coquin]

T'ere ought to be some in a supply closet, per'aps down in t'e mess. I'll keep an eye out when I go around later. It is far from a discreet distraction, but not a terrible idea.

[He stretches out, puts his feet up against the bed frame.]

No, I would never use any of my mot'er's cleaning supplies like t'at.